Many people hold the opinion that women are the default beneficiary in a child custody hearing.This is not the case any longer and woman must be more prepared than ever. The latest statistics reinforce the importance of not taking it for granted. Woman need a winning child custody strategy in place from the start.
If this is not complete from the beginning and they lose and have an unfavorable agreement, for whatever reason, then it is very challenging to modify, particularly if it was put in place by the court at the breakdown of the parents relationship. Mothers must be involved from the beginning and have sufficient information to even question their attorneys. They also need a very transparent understanding of how the method works and how the child custody laws vary from state to state in the USA. If you do not have a clear understanding of the system you take the risk of not putting your best foot forward during a custody evaluation.
Just as important is good legal council. Good legal representation is essential. A well informed lawyer is fundamental to emphasizing what is very important and what is less important. Make no mistake, there is a sizable difference in the quality of representation obtainable. The legal system will ask you to give testimony and a lot of credence will be given to this testimony. The proper answers are key to a favorable agreement and key to you defending your children.
The court system can be callous and seem unfair at times. It is very black and white and the proper guidance will set you up to succeed right from the beginning. The judge will be looking for particular items to make a determination and you and your attorney must know these. These are not what you would expect since they might not seem obvious to the inexperienced person.
You must also know the amount of “bias” that exists and which “side” it favors. With all this considered, there is one book that I have found that deals with all this and much, much more. I regard it as the child custody “bible” and would categorize it as essential reading for anyone going through this extremely challenging circumstance.
For more information please visit http://www.childcustodysecrets.net
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When a couple is divorcing, there so many issues that arise and need to be resolved: division of asset, household belongings and other property, financial settlements, shared business assets, vacation property, retirement accounts, non-financial compensation, and more. It’s confusing and overwhelming. Yet, when that couple has children, there is one concern that inevitably stands out in importance over all the others… the question of custody of the children.
When parents are involved in a custody battle, they are usually focused on protecting their own individual rights. In other words, mothers are concerned about protecting their rights as mothers; fathers get focused on ensuring that they maintain their rights as fathers. However, often lost in the middle of all the motions, briefs, opinions, and petitions, is the fact that, in each and every state, when it comes to custody and visitation, the children have their own set of rights.
The judicial system in each state considers numerous factors in arriving at a final child custody arrangement. And while the opinions and desires of an older child generally carry more influence than those of a younger one, the following list of rights is generally upheld for children of all ages.
The right to a continuing relationship with both parents. The right to be treated, not as a piece of property, but as a human being having unique feelings, ideas and desires. The right to continuing care and proper guidance from each parent. The right to have his views and opinions of one parent not be unduly influenced by the other parent. The right to express love, friendship, and respect for both parents, and the freedom from having to hide those feelings or emotions. The right to know the impending divorce was in no way caused by any actions of the child. The right not to be the subject and/or source of arguments. The right to continuing, honest information regarding the divorce process. The right to maintain regular contact with both parents, and the right to a clear explanation for any changes or cancellations of plans. The right to enjoy a pleasurable relationship with both parents; the right never to be used as a manipulative or bargaining tool.
Parents who can study, understand, support, and enforce these rights on behalf of their children will reap immeasurable rewards in their relationship with their kids. Parents who ignore and repeatedly violate these rights run the risk of damaging their relationship, credibility, and their children themselves beyond repair.
Please parents, do your best to rise above the differences you have with your ex-spouse, and keep the rights of your children in mind when dealing with custody issues.
Kiki Anderson has been counseling couples, families, and children for more than 20 years. She has seen the anguish and heartbreak of divorcing families, and is passionate about equipping families, and especially children, with the best strategies available.
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Most people assume that once a child custody order has been adopted by the court, it is final and cannot be changed. The fact is that any and all orders can be changed. Letâs take a look and see how and why.
Once child custody orders are adopted there is often a clause that states something about a significant change of circumstances must take place in order for either party to bring a motion to change the order. This language exists to keep the parties from filing frivolously just because they donât like the order. But the truth is that anyone can file a motion at any time.
Some of the reasons that parents might want to change the order are:
Change to living arrangements Change of job Childs grades Childs age Childs health
Most people worry that once there is a child custody order in place that some drastic must happen to file to change it. The reality is that the changes may be subtle and take time. One very clear example of that is the childâs age. When a child is an infant his mother may breast feed him. It makes sense that the mother would have primary custody (notice I didnât use sole custody) and the vast majority of the visitation time as fathers cannot breast feed. However, as the child grows older and is weaned from mothersâ breast a father that has been active and wants more time can petition the court to change the visitation citing the maturation of the child leading to less dependence on the mother. The significant change in this case is the dependence level of the child on the mother.
Other changes could be a parent who moves a significant distance away. This may require that the visitation be adjusted to find a more suitable balance in visitation versus commute time. But of course the biggest issue is the childâs safety. If some circumstance has changed that has increased the childâs level of danger, like a parent becoming involved with a convicted child molester. This is a scenario that requires that documentation be submitted to the court. Since many jurisdictions have their criminal cases available online, it can be very easy to look up someoneâs history. Make sure you get a copy of the final disposition of the criminal case to present in court in support of your case.
As you can see there are a number of issues that can be considered significant enough to ask for a revision of the visitation order. Donât let your child and yourself get locked into a bad situation because you didnât think you could change the order. Look for what has changed and how a specific change can make it better for your child.
Ed Brooks knows firsthand how difficult “High Conflict” child custody battles can be. How devastating false allegations can be and the emotional toll they can take on both parents and children. He has created a forum where parents can go to share their experiences, ask advice, and look for support. http://www.child-custody-forum.com/
I have written this article, to assist mothers who wish to protect their rightful role as primary caretakers of their children. A mother’s child custody battle, most often is a very stressful situation. To make things worse, many women don’t play as active a role as they should throughout the court process and tend to overly rely on their attorneys.
This can potentially put a mother’s child custody case in jeopardy, due to the fact that the ex spouse as well as the attorneys on both side will take advantage of this.
In this article, I want to provide some guidance to help you get through this as best as possible. There are many things to look out for and keep in mind, you don’t want to make any mistakes that can potentially be used against you.
1. Do not show any hostility towards other women : It doesn’t matter if it is the one your ex husband had an affair with, the current girlfriend, or new wife. I know this is hard, but do your best at least until your child custody battle is over with. It can be used as ammunition against your case.
2. Don’t call the police on your ex : Unless you or your children are in danger of being physically harmed, this will only make things turn out ugly for everyone.
3. If you are unemployed you need to get a job : You need to show to the judge that you are capable of supporting your children financially and not simply counting on living off of child support of spousal maintenance.
There you have it, these are some very common mistakes that many people make during a mother’s child custody case.
For more information and tips on a mother’s child custody battle, you can visit my website Mothers Child Custody