In high conflict child custody cases any time you file a motion or a reply to a motion you cannot possibly know what will eventually be settled on. Even when I comes to something seemingly as simple as a holiday rotation that any reasonably sane person would adopt, it seems that the other parent can throw up seemingly insurmountable obstacles. One of the ways to get past those obstacles is to be prepared with a list of what you would like and why, as well as knowing what alternatives you have and how they might benefit both the parents and the children.

Of course you will always have the parent that throws a tantrum no matter what suggestions you make, just because you made them. But the court has a process to deal with them, normally called evaluation (sometimes handled in a variation of mediation). If you have offered not only your preference but numerous alternatives all to no avail, the evaluator will most likely help you out because they can please at least one parent.

So let’s delve into some of the typical schedules. All of these can be mixed and matched to suit your purpose:

Alternate weekends Saturday, Sunday (return Sunday) Alternate weekends Saturday, Sunday (drop off at school Monday) Alternate extended weekends Friday, Saturday, Sunday (return Sunday) Alternate extended weekends Friday, Saturday, Sunday (drop off at school Monday) Week on, Week Off One weekday (no overnight) One weekday (overnight) Two weekday (no overnight) Two weekday (overnight)

When it comes to holidays, you can take just the one day or you can take the included weekend. The included weekend would be much preferred. Now a look at the holidays:

Presidents day Martin Luther King day 4th of July Memorial day Labor day Halloween Thanksgiving Christmas

But are school breaks normal? Absolutely! Let’s have a look:

Winter Break Christmas Break Spring Break Summer Vacation

With the exception of summer vacation, all of these holidays can normally be split between the parents in a odd and even year sequence. This gives the child lots of quality time with each parent. Summer can be handled like the rest of the year with 2 weeks of vacation for each parent or you can get creative as well.

What you must keep in mind is what is going to work our best for your child. Think about how  you can  make sure that each parent has plenty of time to build a quality relationship with the child. If you can’t get there from the start, make sure you document how the current schedule doesn’t work for you and why. Then when you head back to court with why it doesn’t work for you, you can also bring the solution with you.

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This is the first of a 3 part series. After the long and arduous journey from divorce through custody battles and a final order, what are you going to do when exchanging the child breaks down? You need a plan so let’s get to work.

Nothing in this article is going to be easy to accomplish, but it will make your life pleasant again. You have invested a tremendous amount of time and energy in your child custody arrangement. You have done everything that was asked of you at each and every step along the way. You have followed the rules, been respectful and obedient of the laws, the courts, the judges, the attorneys and the other parent. So why do you feel so alone and helpless now that the other parent is creating a problem during exchanges?

The other parent may pull all types of things on exchanges from, showing up late, not showing up at all, demanding money, goods, or even a new agreement in exchange of the child. They may still have feelings for you and demand to know where you were, who you’re with, or what you were doing. They can keep you waiting for hours wondering about the safety of your child. This is just a partial list, but if you can relate to this, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

While you may feel isolated and alone in handling this problem, you are about to find out that you are not. Exchanging the child is a great way for the other parent to create trouble, seemingly without any type of repercussions. This is the perfect time for the other parent to cause problems for you, and oh yeah, this is not uncommon. Join the ranks of the millions of us who have “been there, done that”. Aren’t there laws to protect you? Didn’t you get an order to set boundaries? Why won’t the police help enforce it? Isn’t the system supposed to protect children “best interests of the child”?

Now that you know you aren’t the only one, we need to look at how you’re going to fix this. You read that right, “You’re going to fix this”. The issue here is that while you have an order, the order is civil and not criminal. That means that while an officer might be able to help, you are more likely to hear, “you need to go back to court”. Raise your hand if you’ve heard that and wanted to cry.

I know I was astounded when I heard that. I mean, you spend thousands of dollars, hundreds or thousands of hours working on your custody case to get to an agreement, only to be told “go to court”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You have done nothing but go to court and look where it got you, back at square one.

Well guess what, the officer was right. You need to go back to court. But this time, things will be different. Very, very different because this time you will take away the power that allows the other parent to do this to you. If you don’t want your power back, stop reading and move on. If you want to make them cry because they lost a very good thing, keep reading.

Keep in mind that I am very pro-child. I have seen parents do horrendous things to the other parent, other family members, even the child, but the child still has a right to a relationship with that parent. If we don’t ensure that relationship happens, those broken bonds will haunt them all their adult life. So when I talk about taking away the power for them to hurt you, I urge you to protect the child’s relationship with the other parent.

You will need to do all of the work to fix this problem, on your own. There is no agency to call, no one you can pay, you just buckle down, educate yourself and do the work. First, let’s look at our objective. The objective is to get a judge to issue an order that will prevent the other parent from creating trouble. I am not talking about some sissy language that says ”stop it”. I’m talking about restricting the other parent in very objective terms. For instance, a restraining order would be enforceable by the police. Language that states the parent must have no more than 15 minutes of leeway in drop off time or they lose all visitations until the go back to court. You need an order that protects you but doesn’t interfere with the child’s right to visit the other parent. 

I know I was astounded when I heard that. I mean, you spend thousands of dollars, hundreds or thousands of hours working on your custody case to get to an agreement, only to be told “go to court”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You have done nothing but go to court and look where it got you, back at square one.

Well guess what, the officer was right. You need to go back to court. But this time, things will be different. Very, very different because this time you will take away the power that allows the other parent to do this to you. If you don’t want your power back, stop reading and move on. If you want to make them cry because they lost a very good thing, keep reading.

Keep in mind that I am very pro-child. I have seen parents do horrendous things to the other parent, other family members, even the child, but the child still has a right to a relationship with that parent. If we don’t ensure that relationship happens, those broken bonds will haunt them all their adult life. So when I talk about taking away the power for them to hurt you, I urge you to protect the child’s relationship with the other parent.

You will need to do all of the work to fix this problem, on your own. There is no agency to call, no one you can pay, you just buckle down, educate yourself and do the work. First, let’s look at our objective. The objective is to get a judge to issue an order that will prevent the other parent from creating trouble. I am not talking about some sissy language that says ”stop it”. I’m talking about restricting the other parent in very objective terms. For instance, a restraining order would be enforceable by the police. Language that states the parent must have no more than 15 minutes of leeway in drop off time or they lose all visitations until the go back to court. You need an order that protects you but doesn’t interfere with the child’s right to visit the other parent.

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After a separation or divorce, if joint child custody has been awarded, child visitation rights are granted to the non-custodial parent. A court may grant short-term visitation rights to one parent, and the other will receive primary physical custody of the child during the divorce case.

In the case of a family law judge deciding that it is best for the child to maintain regular contact with both parents, long-term child visitation rights are granted.

Child visitation rights are not considered a given right. The court may decide that it is in the best interest of the child to grant sole custody to one parent, rather than to allow access rights to the other.

The non-custodial parent can still be ordered to pay child support in cases where access rights are denied. Child visitation rights and child support responsibilities are two separate distinct issues.

On the other hand, if a parent receives child support payment obligations and visitation rights, there is a chance that he/she will not lose their visitation rights even if they fail to pay child support.

However, there are many ways in which a parent can be punished for not paying child support; loss of access rights is simply not one of them.

So long as both parents can agree to the terms decided, child visitation rights laws enable parents to bring about a rational visitation plan, as long as the plan made is in the best interest of the child. A third party sometimes becomes involved in the making of a access plan, as they are unbiased and able to assist a discussion of both parents wants and needs in order to reach an acceptable agreement without going to trial.

If an agreement cannot be reached however, the court may intervene and determine the child access rights. In cases of domestic violence the courts may also decide on access rights.

An example of a usual visitation schedule would be the non-custodial parent spending time with the child on weekends and certain holidays.

Violations of a court order, relocation of the custodial parent, change of a parent’s job, danger posed to the child by one parent are but a few of the reasons for child access rights to be changed. If a parent wishes to change any part of the access rights, they must petition the court. Child visitation rights aims to grant both parents the opportunity of developing a healthy relationship with their child.

Learn more about child visitation rights in child custody cases at my blog and arm yourself with the knowledge that you will need to obtain a good outcome in your custody battle.

Stop by http://ChildJointCustody.com now.

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www.galyen.com If you are having problems with child custody and visitation, contact the law office of Bailey and Galyen in Texas. Call 817-868-5500

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Child custody is one of the most difficult and emotionally charges aspects of a divorce. There are two primary types of custody, physical custody and legal custody.  Physical custody is awarded to parent with whom the child will live a majority of the time.  The custodial parent often shares legal custody of the child with the non-custodial parent. Legal custody refers to the right to make decisions about the child’s education, religion, health care, and other significant concerns. Some parents settle on a joint-custody arrangement, through which the child spends approximately an equal amount of time with both parents. The following tips offer advice about child custody and child visitation, so that you and your soon to be ex-spouse can handle these difficult issues with the least amount of emotional strain on yourselves and your children as possible.

Tip #1: Focus on your child’s or children’s best interests. This may sound overly simple, but divorce lawyer Peter Paras stresses, “In dealing with the issue of custody, it is important to know that it is the children’s best interests that are the central focus of the court’s concern.” Divorce attorney Bonny Reis agrees, stating, “One of the most important [elements of] good parenting is the ability of a parent to subordinate his or her needs to the needs of the child. Once people begin to understand that and stop seeing the child’s needs through the lens of their own feelings, they become much better parents and much better candidates for custody.” It is essential to keep your negativity toward your former spouse from damaging your child’s relationship with him or her, as well as your child’s perceptions of him or her. When it comes to deciding custody arrangements, courts tend to look favorably on parents who are respectful and cooperative during the divorce proceedings.

Tip #2: There are two ways to resolve the issue of child custody. First, the parents can reach a compromise, thereby recognizing that the children are entitled to know both of their parents and structuring the children’s future in a collaborative manner.  Second, in cases where extenuating circumstances make compromise extremely difficult or impossible, a judge will make the custody decision. Peter Paras, an experienced divorce lawyer, points out, “One of the most critical elements in deciding whether or not compromises can be reached or not is how well the parents can communicate and whether the parents have a recognition that the other parent has a right to have a relationship with the children and that the children have a right to have a relationship with both parents.”

Tip #3: Establish a fixed visitation schedule. When a court establishes visitation rights for a noncustodial parent, it usually orders reasonable visitation. In order for the reasonable visitation approach to succeed, both parents must cooperate and communicate frequently. Fixed visitation refers to the establishment of a detailed visitation schedule by the court, including the times and places for visitation with the noncustodial parent. Divorce attorney Bonny Reis favors this approach. “I feel strongly that there has to be a schedule…when you have a schedule as a default, both parents know when they can make time for themselves. To have a schedule shows that the parents respect one another and respect one another’s right to go on with their lives.” Another important beneficial result of fixed schedules is that they provide greater stability for the child. The child will know when to expect spending time with each of his or her parents, leading to healthier, more solid relationships and less tension between family members.

Divorce case involves many different types of issues, including preparing for your divorce, child support, assets and property, and alimony, all of which will be addressed in this series.

For more divorce advice, refer back to Part 1 of this series and look for the upcoming installments:
Part 1: Divorce Advice: Preparing for Your Divorce
Part 3: Divorce Advice: Child Support and Alimony
Part 4: Divorce Advice: Assets and Property Division

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Most people assume that once a child custody order has been adopted by the court, it is final and cannot be changed. The fact is that any and all orders can be changed. Let’s take a look and see how and why.

Once child custody orders are adopted there is often a clause that states something about a significant change of circumstances must take place in order for either party to bring a motion to change the order. This language exists to keep the parties from filing frivolously just because they don’t like the order. But the truth is that anyone can file a motion at any time.

Some of the reasons that parents might want to change the order are:

Change to living arrangements Change of job Childs grades Childs age Childs health

Most people worry that once there is a child custody order in place that some drastic must happen to file to change it. The reality is that the changes may be subtle and take time. One very clear example of that is the child’s age. When a child is an infant his mother may breast feed him. It makes sense that the mother would have primary custody (notice I didn’t use sole custody) and the vast majority of the visitation time as fathers cannot breast feed. However, as the child grows older and is weaned from mothers’ breast a father that has been active and wants more time can petition the court to change the visitation citing the maturation of the child leading to less dependence on the mother. The significant change in this case is the dependence level of the child on the mother.

Other changes could be a parent who moves a significant distance away. This may require that the visitation be adjusted to find a more suitable balance in visitation versus commute time. But of course the biggest issue is the child’s safety. If some circumstance has changed that has increased the child’s level of danger, like a parent becoming involved with a convicted child molester. This is a scenario that requires that documentation be submitted to the court. Since many jurisdictions have their criminal cases available online, it can be very easy to look up someone’s history. Make sure you get a copy of the final disposition of the criminal case to present in court in support of your case.

As you can see there are a number of issues that can be considered significant enough to ask for a revision of the visitation order. Don’t let your child and yourself get locked into a bad situation because you didn’t think you could change the order. Look for what has changed and how a specific change can make it better for your child.

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The Law Firm of Laurence P. Greenberg www.lpgdivorce.com Any prospective litigant in a divorce who is also a parent necessarily will have to address very crucial and emotional issues. The law in New York State regarding custody and visitation is based upon doing what is in the ‘best interests’ of the child. Although that might seem like a simple formulation, it often involves very complicated procedures in which a third person, such as the judge, will determine what is actually in the best …

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www.gailorwallis.com – Raleigh North Carolina Divorce lawyer Kim’s practice concentrates heavily in the litigation of complex custody and equitable distribution cases. She also heads the firm’s appellate advocacy group. Kim has successfully represented many clients in domestic cases before the NC Court of Appeals. A member of Leading North Carolina Divorce Lawyers of Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC

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When a divorce or dissolution of marriage is brought before the family court, child visitation is considered at the same time and according to similar factors as child custody. The term stands for the time in which the non-custodial parent is allowed to meet or visit with his/her child. However, under certain circumstances a parent can be denied child visitation or child custody in the case of sole physical custody. Child visitation is often associated with the term “parenting plan,” which typically outlines the type of legal custody and physical custody of each parent and can also define when the child is to visit or be with the non-custodial parent. Parents can reach such an agreement on their own, this is the best case, or the court can decide on this matter, which is often the worst case scenario.

Typically, the best situation for a child in a divorce, child custody, and child visitation matter is when both parents manage to solve their personal differences to reach an agreement or parenting plan or child visitation schedule out of court. In this case, any agreements reached between both parents can become the parenting plan. When a parenting plan is created and child visitation and child custody issues are resolved, it may not require anymore matters to be brought to the court even if the child is very young. A decade ago, the family courts would often give infant visitation guidelines preventing the non-custodial parent from spending a lot of time with his/her child. Such provisions are not valid anymore, but rather frequent and continuous contact with both parents is encouraged. Off court agreements does not necessarily need to be translated in a written contract and signed by both parents. However, parents may be well advised to have a written and signed parenting plan for future reference in case a child custody or child visitation dispute arises. It can also be used as a stipulation between both parties and then issued as a court order for future enforcement purposes.

Now, what if the parents are not able to reach an agreement on child visitation or child custody? Both parents will often be required to participate in a mediation process before having a court hearing or before a judge hears the case. Typically, the two parents will be assisted to work out a parenting plan by a third-party or mediator, who can be an experienced attorney or social worker. Many child visitation and child custody issues find a happy ending through mediation sessions resulting in a parenting plan agreement, which can then be presented as a stipulation ad then as a court order.

Generally, the worst case is when mediation fails. In this situation, the next step is typically for a court hearing in order to solve the issues. Judges nowadays often require custody evaluations of the family by experts in the field of child psychiatry, psychology or mental health. Licensed social workers can also be called to present evidence for consideration by the court. Once all pieces of evidence have been presented, the court will typically make its decision. This is the worst case child custody and child visitation dispute method because it can be very complex, expensive, and long-draw out. In some highly contested child custody and child visitation cases, child custody and child visitation disputes will eventually result in denying child custody and child visitation rights to one of the parent.

© 2007 Child Custody Coach

Child Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. “How to Win Child Custody – Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!” is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.

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